June 23, 2012

Sibling Love

I love seeing them "play" together.

June 22, 2012

Human Pacifier

I can't let Bacon comfort nurse because he'll throw up.  He won't always take a pacifier.  Sometimes, he'll suck on my pinky but that's hard to do because he wants to be walked around and he's getting a little too heavy to hold with just one arm.
The other night he starts going for my arm, like this:
And I end up with this: 
The little sucker (literally) gave me a hickey!

June 17, 2012

Father's Day 2012

It was a nice day.  We had dim sum in the morning before it got too crowded.  Bacon slept in the stroller for at least two hours(!) while we walked around the outdoor mall.  Came home and everybody got a good nap (except for me).  Ended with BBQ for dinner at Woodranch.

The father's day card Eggy and I made for Eggy appah on treat.com:
The front
The inside
I asked Eggy what we should write on her dad's card.  She dictated and I wrote it down.

I couldn't have asked for a better father for my two rugrats.  Thanks for giving me two beautiful babies!  Love you!

June 16, 2012

The Bad and the Good

Is it wrong to call your 2 month old newborn an asshole?  I know, terrible, right?  But when it's 4am and he's been waking up every hour, your sleep deprived brain is not thinking rationally.  This past week has been horrible in terms of sleep.  I cannot wait until he's older so I can start sleep training.  Ha, I was so reluctant to let Eggy cry it out but now it doesn't even faze me.  I just hope it works on Bacon.  Fingers crossed.

Despite my grouchiness from the lack of sleep, I just about died last night from the cuteness overload.  Bacon laughed!  So adorable!  Eggy appah was trying to put Bacon to sleep but I guess he didn't want to sleep yet.  The two of them were looking in the mirror and Eggy appah would close his eyes tight, pop them open, and say, "Boo!"  And Bacon thought it was hilarious.  Now I'm going to spend all day trying to get him to laugh again.

June 13, 2012

Happy 2 Months, Bacon!

I know I'm a few days late but I wanted to wait until his 2 month check up with the pediatrician today.  
Weight: 12 lbs., 4.5 oz
Height: 23 inches
Head Circumference: 16 inches
So despite Bacon's problems with reflux, the little porker is living up to his name and gaining weight and growing well.
He's being fussy though.  Not sure if that's because of his shots or the little amount of sleep he got last night.   

I know each baby is different but it's hard not to compare Bacon and Eggy.  The only thing is, I don't really remember what Eggy was like when she was a newborn.  My memory is awful now.  I feel like Bacon is a lot fussier and cries more than Eggy did.  But that's probably because I let him cry.  With Eggy, I was so afraid of her crying that I'd scoop her up any time she made a noise.  I remember one time she was grunting in her sleep and I picked her up right away and she was still asleep.  I was so annoyed, especially because it was the middle of the night.  Anyway, sometimes I have no choice but to leave Bacon to cry for a bit because I have to help Eggy or something like that.  
And I don't know if it's because of my experience or a better milk supply but I think Bacon is better at nursing than Eggy was.  From the first time he was placed on my chest, he latched on right away.  I don't even think I needed to have his frenulum cut but oh well, too late now.  Since he's a better nurser, it really doesn't take long to feed him which is nice, especially during the night.  Also because of his reflux, I have to cut him off anyway even though the experts say you should just let the baby nurse for as long as he wants.   If I let him nurse for even five minutes, he'll spit up a ton so usually I stop after just 3 or 4 minutes.  But he's growing and having enough dirty diapers so I'm fine with that even if it means I have to feed him more frequently.  And we have to hold him up for awhile after eats so he doesn't spit everything up.  That's not so fun during the night when I just want to go back to sleep.  I've fallen asleep a few times holding him.  Yikes.  
The other thing that Bacon is doing better than Eggy did is sleeping.  Maybe.  I don't really remember details but I do remember feeling really frustrated with the lack of sleep.  Maybe I just know better now and know what to expect.  His naps are hit or miss.  Sometimes he'll just take cat naps of 30 minutes and other days like yesterday, he'll take a 2-3 hour nap.  He's not really on a schedule yet.  I just put him to sleep when he seems tired which is usually within an hour of waking.  He gets really fussy after 5pm.  It's hard to get him to go to sleep at night though because he almost always cries but it's getting better.  Once he's down, he wakes up every 3 hours or so, eats, and goes right back to sleep.  (Although last night was bad with hourly wakings.)  Eggy used to wake up and she wouldn't always go back to sleep.  But that was probably partly my fault too because I'd always rush to pick her up whenever she made a noise instead of giving her a chance to settle down.  Who knows?  Anyway, his sleep is okay for now, not great, but could be better.  Hopefully he'll start stretching those 3 hours out soon.  

He found his hands and sucks on them, preferably his right hand.  Ew, his hands are stinky too.  And I'm always fishing out lint from his fists.  

He "talks" back to us.  He's a lot more vocal than Eggy was.  

He's smiling a lot more now.  Mornings are his happiest times.  And he smiles the most for his noona.
Most people have been saying that Bacon looks like me.  I don't see it.  Maybe certain parts.  He has a slight dimple on his right side just like me.  The first time I saw Bacon I remember thinking, "He looks like my dad.  Oh no.  Poor kid."  Hahaha.

June 12, 2012

Mommy Guilt

You want the best for your kid of course.  You want to give them everything.  You want to be Supermom.  But the frustration, the worrying, the self-doubt.  It's hard.  It gets to you.  It's worse than Catholic guilt.  At least with Catholicism, you can go to Confession.
Mommy guilt stays with you forever.  Seriously, ask your mom and she'll probably have at least one regret about your childhood.  My mom will still tear up when she thinks about the things she did wrong.  And this is like 30 years later but she still remembers.  I used to think she was being silly because my sister and I don't even remember most of those things but I totally get it now.
Lately, I feel like I suck at being a mom.  Eggy's been watching too much TV because I'm occupied with Bacon or I need to make dinner or I just want a break.  I should be playing with her or reading to her or something.  We used to read a lot together.  Now I just feel like I have no time.  And it seems like I'm always snapping at her.  One time I was annoyed with her for who knows what and she looked at me and said, "why you mad, umma?"  She wasn't mad or even upset which made me feel so shitty.  Like she really did nothing and I just took it out on her.  Another time, I had gotten mad (again) but I told her I was sorry and that I was tired and just needed a time out.  And she started tearing up and said, "I just want you to be the best umma ever!" and hugged me.  Super shitty.  And don't even ask me about the time I almost killed Eggy taking her out for a walk in the stroller when she was two months old.
I don't have as much guilt for Bacon but I think that's because he's still so young.  Give me time and I'm sure I'll have effed up some things.
So no, I am nowhere close to being Supermom.  I'm never going to be Supermom.  And I will probably carry around this guilt for the rest of my life.  But I hope my kids know that I will always love them no matter what.

June 1, 2012

3 years, 2 months

I meant to write this post back in April around Eggy's birthday but I've been a little busy, haha.  I've totally forgotten how tiring it can be taking care of a newborn.  Actually, to be honest, the newborn stage sucks.  Especially since I think Bacon has colic.  Yuck.  I know I'm supposed to enjoy it because "they grow up so fast" and "he'll only be this little for so long" but I would rather just fast forward to at least six months.  I just remember very specifically thinking when Eggy was maybe 6 or 8 months old how much fun she was.  Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying I didn't love her or enjoy being with her.  It just got more fun as she got older.  Eggy's newborn stage is all so hazy to me (That's got to be some biological voodoo because why else would people subject themselves to this craziness and have more than one kid.) so I thought I should try to record some of the stuff she's doing at this age.  Because don't you know?  They grow up way too fast.
  • She knows how to spell her first name.  She can also write the first letters of her first and last name.  And the letter O but that's because it's a circle.  
  • She knows her address.
  • She can count to 20, sort of.  She gets confused after 12:  ten, eleven, twelve, eleventeen, fourteen, sixteen....
  • Her favorite color is orange.
  • She's starting to learn her phonics.  I don't know if she totally gets it but if I ask her what letter does popcorn start with for example and I say, "puh, puh, puh, popcorn" she'll say P.  
  • She can ride her tricycle.  She used to get frustrated because she couldn't pedal that well or she'd be scared of falling but she's doing really well now.  She even asked her dad for a bike.   
  • At her check up in April, she weighed 29 pounds, 6.4 ounces and measured 38 inches tall.  I think she's grown since then.  She's still pretty skinny though because she can still fit in a lot of her summer clothes from last year.  They're just a little bit shorter. 
  • She still wears a pull-up at night even though she has no problems during the day.  
  • She can open doors now.  In the morning, she comes running into our room even though we tell her she has to stay in her bed/room until her alarm clock turns green.
  • She knows that she's three years old but she also knows that when we go to Disneyland, she's two still (if they ask).  ;)  So now when people ask her her age, she looks at me to see what number she's supposed to say.  
  • She understands almost everything my mom says to her in Korean even though she doesn't really speak it herself.  She'll even watch cartoons in Korean, like Pororo or Robocar Poli.  And she knows a few songs in Korean but I think she's just repeating my mom phonetically, not really understanding the words.  I think she'd be better off if she knew how to speak Mandarin but Eggy appah only knows Cantonese.  I should send her to a Chinese school but then she'd hardly ever get to speak/hear the language outside of school.  
  • When she poops, she pinches her nose.  Whenever she smells anything bad, she pinches her nose and yells, "Stinky!"  If she farts, she yells, "Stinky!" and runs away.  Sometimes, she'll grab a book and try to fan it away. 
Stinky fertilizer
  • Since she'd be seeing Bacon's bits during diaper changes, we told her about how boys have a penis and girls have a vagina (did you totally just think of Kindergarten Cop right now?).  She calls it a "magina."  One time we were at Ikea and she told her dad that he has a penis.  Really loudly.  
  • She refuses to cut her hair.  I don't know why.  She came along when I went to get my hair cut a few months ago and she let my stylist cut some bangs.  Then, he couldn't help himself and cut a few layers in the front and curled it too.  haha
  • She's still a really good eater.  Really really good.  I mean she likes sweets and other junk food too but like if you gave her a plate of french fries and bell peppers, she'd eat both equally.  Let's hope it stays that way.
  • She's always singing some random song and I don't know if it's from some show she watched or if she totally made it up.  Also, she knows how to rhyme words.  She gets a big kick out of all those "See you later, alligator.  In a while, crocodile." sayings.  And she loves to sing The Name Game song.  
  • You know how kids are always asking why, why why?  Eggy asks, "How come?"  I didn't realize it until my sister pointed it out but that's what I say.  So it's always "How come?"  So annoying.  I don't mind her asking something if she really wants to know but sometimes she doesn't even listen to the answer.  She just keeps repeating "How come?" Or sometimes the question doesn't even make sense.  
  • She also talks a lot.  A LOT.  All the time.  Sometimes, she even talks in her sleep.  And just like singing, I don't know where she learns some of the things she says.  And when she says certain words wrong, I don't always correct her because I think it's cute and funny.  Like when she says she's a little bit "infused" instead of confused.  And of course, when she says magina.  
Anyway, those are just some random things about Eggy right now.  Love my girl.
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